But A Chapter
It was a chapter and only a chapter but god damn it, it was one of the best chapters. Slowly, all too easily though, it was breaking up. Like bits of debris in a fast moving and flooded out river, it was floating on with us all and we could sense it and it was heavy in the air and we all knew it would come and we would go and we would not regret any of it. Soon we would be gone*. And they would be gone. And we would all go and find another place to call home and to try our hand at something else. The realization of course was that there was no permanence. Only the now. Only the bonds. When the now was gone and the past clung to or the future hoped for, we faltered. When the bonds of friendship frayed, we stalled.
But the past was done with, the future wasn’t yet arrived at and the bonds held true. So we got as close to the line of reveling in it as we could while keeping the oath of understood solemnity between us – quiet as a whisper. We took our drinks, put down our glasses, and said good night to a lot of things but certainly not all things. That was good enough for us this night and we hoped for the nights to come.
* For years, Mr. Wendell Berry made me believe in roots. And putting them down. And making them last. And maybe he was half right. Or all right. But it didn’t fit me right. At least right now [cadence]. That’s probably selfish. That’s probably typical entitled white guy talk. Sitting with my beer, my laptop, and my Jayber Crow paperback. His roots were always permanent ones. Interpreting the history and reshaping it for today. But mine were going to go as long as they were. And an investment while they were. But they were not going to be anything more than what they were [cadence]. At least that’s what this place made me believe in this moment and in this time (and in this bar). So I’ll put my asterisk and say maybe I’ll be here tomorrow. And maybe I won’t. But wherever I am, I’ll be doing my best to make it** better than it was today.
** And by it I mean me.